posted 3rd January 2024
It's nil all, with five minutes till half time. You're under pressure from the opposition, who are crowding in on you from all sides. You decide to make a gentle tap, sending the ball back into the safe arms of the goalkeeper. But you mistime it. The ball sails past the outstretched keeper and into the back of the net. Your own net. It's an own goal.
Own goals don't only happen in football. They can happen in debating too. Here's an example.
You're speaking for the proposition on the motion This house would ban anyone born after 2009 from buying tobacco. You say, 'Banning the sale of tobacco would ultimately remove it from our high streets. The only way to buy it would be from criminal gangs; the only people rejoicing at this measure would be criminals.' Then you realise. The danger of creating more business for criminal gangs is one of the major arguments against making the sale of tobacco illegal. You've just handed the opposition an extra argument. You've just kicked the ball into your own net.
What should you do if you've scored an own goal? Above all, don't panic. Don't go back and try to unsay what you said, or contradict yourself, or say you didn't really mean it. That will only draw attention to your error, and remind everyone of the argument you didn't want to put out there. As the saying goes, when you're in a hole, you need to stop digging. Instead, carry on as if nothing has gone wrong, and make sure your subsequent arguments are even stronger. To put it in footballing terms: if you're one-nil down from an own goal, the only answer is to score more goals until you get back in the lead.
And what should you do if your opponent scores an own goal? Wait until it's your turn to speak, and then remind everyone of the own goal. 'I am grateful to the speaker on the other side for pointing out that making tobacco illegal will lead to a rise in crime. That saves me from having to do it myself. Instead, I will move on to the following arguments ...' Don't do this via a point of information, though. Let them carry on in their confusion. Remember Napoleon's wise words: 'Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.'
